The Friendship Equation: Easily Create Deep Bonds That Last

After taking a few months off to travel and enjoy the Christmas holidays, I’m back.

Today I’ve got something cool to share with you. The video above.

Personally, I think I still have a lot of room for improvement when it comes to my speaking. Don’t get me wrong, I can have casual conversations with people easily, but explaining ideas on camera is a totally different skill I still need to work on.

So one of my goals this year is to become a better teacher and more captivating on video. This first video is the beginning.

As a wise man once said: “Sucking at something is the first step to being sorta good at something.”

The Friendship Equation

In the video I explain a simple two-part equation you can use to build better friendships and relationships with people. The equation is:

Frequency of Contact x Intensity of Contact

In other words, the quality of any friendship you have is going to be the direct result of…

  1. How often you see or hear from each other. (If you live with someone, you’ll get to know them very well quickly for better or worse.)
  2. How memorable are the experiences you share with them. (Someone you go out and have adventures with is going to become a good friend much sooner than someone you sit around and watch TV with.)

Honestly the content in this video is not too complicated. The real question to ask yourself is: are you actually doing it? Do you make an effort to stay in touch frequently and share unique experiences with people?

If not, then you’ll have a hard time making friends. And these are two huge mistakes that I see a lot of lonely people making.

What Else Is New?

After having a lot of crazy adventures in South America, I’m ready to get back to work with helping people overcome their shyness and social anxiety.

I have some big plans and ideas to share with you in the future.

As you probably noticed, this website looks totally different (and better!) than it did before.

More changes and more frequent updates are also coming!

Sean Cooper

P.S. Comments on the video? Have a question? Want me to address a different problem you have? Then enter you comment below. It may take a day or two to show up because of my spam filter.

About the author

Sean Cooper

I study all areas of psychology, sharing what works (and what doesn't) for overcoming shyness and social anxiety. After curing my own severe social anxiety I created "The Shyness and Social Anxiety System" to help others. This program has received stunning reviews from psychologists and people like you.

Now it's my life's mission is to help 25,000 people get the confidence, friends and romantic partner you want!

Read more about me here.


  • can u explain the video in a way such that a computer with no speaker can understand that(like ur VERY USEFUL conversational threading video)

  • Brilliant.. u have the best and most relevant advice I have found to date. Keep up the good work and New videos! 🙂

  • Hi Sean,

    I’m currently in University and I have troubling making friends. I’ve met people, but I don’t know how to take it to the next level. Also, what are some good activities that are moderate to high in intensity to do with potential friends. Thank you.

  • after visiting this site,, i realized u r my favourite teacher,, great,, it is helping me a lot

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